Someone has experienced a pregnancy loss
- I’m so sorry for your loss.
- I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now.
- You are so strong/brave/incredible and it’s okay to be sad.
- What you are feeling is totally normal after what you’ve gone through.
- If you ever need to vent, scream, or cry I’m here for you and you can call/text me anytime.
- What can I do to help you during this time?
- Can we pray together? Or I will be praying for comfort and peace for your family.
- You don’t have to get over it and can be sad as long as you need to be.
- You didn’t cause any of this.
It’s important for you to acknowledge their loss as a loss, just as you would if someone lost a living child, spouse, or parent. Their grief is real and tangible, even you if you didn’t get to meet their baby.
Also, don’t forget about just being silent with someone who has experienced a miscarriage or gave birth to a stillborn baby. Sometimes, someone who has experienced a loss just needs someone to non-judgmentally listen to them and let them go through their grief and anger. Crying is good and it’s a healthy way to process hard emotions.
“Foot in Mouth” Responses
- God needed your baby more than you or God needed another angel.
- Don’t worry, you’ll get pregnant again.
- It’s a good thing you were only a few weeks pregnant.
- Don’t cry…
- I don’t know why you’re still struggling with this.
- Your baby is in Heaven and didn’t have to experience struggle or pain.
- Don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon.
- I mean, it wasn’t like you really had a baby.
- You were only a few weeks along/you just found out you were pregnant, why are you so sad?
- How can I help you get over this?
If you find yourself leaning on one of these responses, it’s most likely because you are uncomfortable and don’t know what to say. In the best interest of all involved, if you are overwhelmed and don’t know what to say, simply don’t say anything or say, “I’m so sorry, I just don’t have words right now.” It’s much better to acknowledge your inability to find words that you feel would help the situation than to say something hurtful.